Has it passed the Turing Test?

(JK. The tests are bullshit too.)

The machine is definitely Turing-complete, and definitely NOT trying to pretend to be human. It’s AI claim is for a cloud-based feature I don’t use that adjusts the cycle stages over time to maximize cleanliness and minimize wear on the contents based on personal usage patterns and detected content types.

The machine does do a few neat things like check water retention of the contents before starting the load (it weighs the contents, adds a known volume of water, drains without spinning and checks the weight difference and the dirtiness of the drained water). There’s no way I want it feeding all my washing data into a massive online data lake for AI analysis though, so I keep that bit disconnected.

That’s how you know it won’t last a day past it’s warranty.